Monday, March 21, 2011

Corn Maize video

UPDATE: WRONG LINK OOPS! One of my employees using his time wisely. This is fall out of your chair funny!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


The girl happily tapped on her laptop; her family was gone out of town and, finally, all was quiet. No music, no television, no distractions - this was how she did her best work. Sarah was by herself for the night and the hours stretched out before her like a candy bar to a child.
Sarah had never been scared to be alone even though her house was old and often made weird noises. So when her lights suddenly flickered a few hours later, she didn't overreact as a typical teenager would. She didn't squeal and immediately call anyone who would listen like her best friend, Steph, would. Instead, Sarah looked up and smirked at the irony.  
It's late at night and I'm alone in a house that is rumored to be haunted, she thought, what's the chances of my house deciding to freak out on me now after all these years of living here.
"I'm not going to believe in ghosts all of the sudden, so give it up," she told her light fixture.
Sarah's words bounced off the towering walls of her bedroom then she heard it, the brief but unmistakable sound of a baby's cry. Sweat broke out on her forehead and upper lips as she tried to find a rational explanation for the sound.
Someone was taking a stroll with their baby. Nope, it's midnight. Maybe the baby couldn't sleep. Sarah, there are no babies even on your block. It was a cat. Coming from your living room? You don't have a cat and they don't exactly sound like that. 
Whoosh, came from the game room. It was like the sound of someone letting a curtain drop back into place after looking out the window.
There are only blinds covering the windows in that room. And there aren't supposed to be 'someones' in there!
Sarah squealed and immediately began dialing numbers of anyone who would listen.
"I'm so scared. Will you come get me-e-e-e." The last came out in broken sobs.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Over the years, I've heard a thousand different sayings, made up words, one-liners, incorrect/conflicting phrases, and I would make a point to remember whatever it was because I wanted to use it. I enjoy making fun of people but not in a mean way. When I heard these things, I didn't think 'What an idiot', instead I thought it was fantastic that this person chose me to drop that line with. I felt like I'd won a prize... a new toy to add to my collection.
 Here are a few (and my memory is terrible so I'll probably have to add to this - just check back). If you think of some of your own please leave me a comment. You can add to my collection!

Thingyadoomahickie = thing that you've forgotten the name of
Thingamajigger= same as above though for me the tone is more serious : )
 Right now in a minute = soon
I done did it = working on it
I dood it = did it
Chew, chew, chew = this has no meaning but breaks the tension
I want a Subway = no, I don't want to buy the store, I want a sub sandwich
Wrong scurdaddles = it's backwards/inside out

Monday, March 7, 2011

The Old Room

Blood-red curtains adorned her wavy, lead-glass windows, the panes of which ached to be opened. Years of paint held them captive in the narrow, wooden tracks. Off-white tongue and groove boards crowded each other up to the 18 foot high ceilings. Delicate candle-shaped bulbs were imprisoned in an iron cage of leaves and vines; the cell suspended in the air by a heavy bronze chain.
An ole-timey wooden stove outlet was still in the ceiling but filled with insulation and a heavy steal lid, forever cutting off the flow of sweet wood-smoke. An eerie attic access door hung out on the north side of the room. It taunted, “Are you scared yet? Are you scared yet?”
A forgotten fire place lounged to the west. A thoughtful frown left by the covering spoke of happier times. “Where are the ghosts of residents past? Come enjoy me again.”
A tiny closet for wood was its companion to the right. The keyed lock had been smothered with white paint for many, many years. It, too, wanted to be used for its rightful purpose.
Wooden floors languished underfoot. Too rustic to be polished, a brown coat of paint was slathered on as an afterthought. Bits of paint have been-

Get out of my bedroom! Who said you could come in here?

Friday, March 4, 2011

For Autographed books


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Cape San Blas - excerpt of White Star

I pull into a picnic area just before the campsites and peer through my windshield at the scenery. It’s woodsier than I might have thought a peninsula would be. There are mostly pine trees around the picnic and campsite area, along with a bunch of palms, oaks, pecan and even poplars. It’s like a melting pot for plant-life.
Flowering shrubbery and plants dot the line just above the sea oats along the shore. The vibrant fuchsia, red, yellow and orange blooms seem to shout their exotic heritage, making me feel as though I don’t belong amongst their beauty. But the softer-colored sea oats waving in the breeze beckon to me.
I step out of the car slowly, suddenly afraid, and the fragrant sea lavender assails my senses, taking me back to a sweeter time. Grandma used to keep it on her kitchen windowsill, saying they made the room smell like she’d been baking.

Just curious. Not that it's important, but does anyone understand the symbolism of the poplars?