Monday, April 23, 2012

Move over

There is nothing more detestable than the uninsured on our nation's highways.
When driving, they wait until you are right upon them then go right out in front of you as if it is some game. When they make it with out being hit, they celebrate with their friends. “You should have seen the look on that woman's face. She looked like she wanted to scream, cry and vomit all at the same time.”
And sometimes they do get hit. Do we feel sorry for them? Of course. They give us such pitiful looks as if saying, “Why did you let this hunk of metal harm me?”
I have been a victim of this guilt, and I didn't even do any thing wrong.
I was just going along my route as calmly as could be and BAM, something hit the side of my car so hard my window busted. There was also considerable denting, paint damage, not to mention my mirror was never to be seen again.
Who was to pay for the wreckage? It certainly was not the being laying on the side of the road. Nor did she have insurance. If I thought she would live, I would consider suing for damages.
Oh you think I am so bad, don't you?
I'm writing about the deer that decided to play chicken.
A friend of mine was victim to this game last year, and it needs to stop.
So, to rectify the situation, I propose a new law for the four-legged beasts.
Deer need a license to roam. The state of Alabama needs to declare this a state of emergency situation and contact each and every deer immediately. Law enforcement will bring them in and instruct them on the rules of the road.
1. Look both ways. Left, right and left, again, be fore  crossing the road.
2.  And do not psych the motorist out, either. Sure it may be fun to see how far drivers will yank their car when you tease them, but you are damaging your own habitat.
Think about it. The next time you gleefully watch a vehicle sailing through the air, watch what happens when it comes crashing down. Each tree they hit, each yard of grass they dig up, is less room for you to live and less vegetation for you to imbibe in.
3.  If you do find yourself in the middle of the road when cars are approaching, MOVE. Yes, the lights are bright and pretty, but quit staring. The vehicle behind those lights will plow you down.
4. Leave your offspring at home. It makes the motorist feel worse, when they have hit you and your brood sprint away from the scene.
And that leads me to my last rule.
5. No more of this cute business. No more movies and no more looking nice and pretty prancing across the fields. It makes it harder to be mad at you when we do cross paths.

Have you ever been hit by a deer? Ever hit a deer?


  1. lol, no, but my fiance wrote his car off hitting a 'roo.

  2. What's a roo? Oh, do you mean a kangaroo? Aww, did it live?

  3. bahahahaha yeah. And no, it wasn't hopping down the main street. Didn't survive, poor thing :(